“Sex Is Not the Primary Purpose of Marriage

“Sex Is Not the Primary Purpose of Marriage

Another common misunderstanding is that marriage exists for the purpose of legitimizing sexual relations. Marriage should never be equated with sex because sex is not the primary purpose of marriage. Sexual union is not and never has been the same thing as marital union. Marriage is a union that implies and involves sexual union as the establishment of a blood covenant, a central obligation, and a pleasure (see 1 Cor. 7:3-5), but the three are not the same.
First of all, marriage involves commitment. Sex has very little to do with commitment; it is a 100-percent physical response to physiological and biochemical stimuli. Sex is one expression of commitment in marriage, “but it never creates commitment. By itself, sex neither makes nor breaks a marriage. Marriage is broader and deeper than sex, and transcends it. Marriage is perhaps one percent sex; the rest is ordinary, everyday life. If you marry for sex, how are you going to handle the other 99 percent? “For many years it has been a common belief that adultery breaks a marriage. That is simply not true. Sex does not create a marriage, so how can it break a marriage? Adultery is sin and, according to the Bible, the only legitimate grounds for divorce for a believer. Even then it is not automatic. Divorce is not mandatory in such instances. Adultery does not break the marriage. Breaking the marriage is a choice.
Recognizing that sexual union and marital union are not the same is absolutely essential to any proper understanding of marriage. It is also essential in understanding divorce and remarriage. Marriage is bigger than, distinct from, but inclusive of “sexual union. Absence of sexual activity will never unmake a marriage, nor will its presence alone turn a relationship into a marriage. Marriage and sex are related but they are not the same.

vision, purpose, destiny,


5 comments on ““Sex Is Not the Primary Purpose of Marriage

  1. I always like to recall why God in His loving kindness saw that it was necessary to create Eve for Adam. If Adam would have just enjoyed fellowship with the animals, his life would have been uncomplicated and sin would not have come into the world. But God saw that Adam was lonely and needed a helper who would be suitable for him. My point is marriage is for companionship first of all. As the years have passed my husband and I have forged a stronger friendship as ‘help meets’. (Gen 2:18) When folks get old or when one or both spouses become incapacitated health wise, there is still companionship which makes the marriage, and sex may become a faded memory.

  2. Very well said. More people should read this article and take it to heart. I have met too many people in my lifetime who believe that sex is the primary reason for marriage, and when their desires aren’t fulfilled, they go in search for someone else to fulfill their desires. I have also often mentioned that there is a vast difference between love and lust and that there are too many people who attempt to build a relationship built on lust without ever knowing what true love is. I invite you to read my article “How Do I “Love” You?, and would be interested in your comments. http://morselsofbread.net/2013/09/22/how-do-i-love-you/

  3. Yes, Adam and Eve were created for each other, to help one another. I believe the best marriages are between two people are comfortable with one another, understand one another, laugh at each other’s jokes, have the same faith, and are bets friends. Once the young love stuff dies down, friendship is an important factor that makes for a successful marriage. You have to be there for each other, and be understanding of one another, and make compromises. People should also still keep their old friends. I heard it is always good for the husband to have his night with the boys, and for the wife to have her night with the girls. You should do a lot together, but time away occasionally from each does make the heat grow fonder (sorry for the cliche, but it is so true.) Otherwise, if you are together all the time, you get sick of each other. You have to trust that the other person will not cheat on you. It is a risk you take in life, but can be worth it if you find a person who is trustworthy, and suitable for you. Trust is an important factor for a good marriage, too!

    Sex can make marriages more exciting, and it produces children, and is needed most of the time, but is not everything. How superficial would a marriage be if it was? It would almost be adulterous, too! Burning in desire for each other all the time is not good. We have duties and obligations in life, too, like parents taking care of their children, their jobs, bills, etc. So balance and planning properly is important, too, as well as spending time with your partner and kids.

    Good families are the building blocks of society. Let us pray God will keep different families together, and bring them to believe in God and His Scriptures.


  4. And I agree, lust and love are two different things. You can love someone, without desiring to have sex with them.

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