“Do you remember what God said about Adam before the creation of Eve? “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) God’s first comment on the state of human beings was that Adam needed a helper.

But modern men have changed that. We say it is better that we should be alone; not unmarried, but alone as far as relationships are concerned. So we are flying in the face of God’s Word when we insist on our independence to the detriment of those around us. God said aloneness is not good.

Not only this, but Philippians 2:4 says, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Not only do you need good relationships for yourself, you need to provide them for others.

Failing to build a strong relationship with your wife because you don’t think you need one yourself is to deprive her of her need. The same thing goes for your children.

When we do this as husbands and fathers we say, “I count, and you don’t.” That’s selfishness, “my brother. If God tells me it’s not good for me to be alone, but I insist on being a loner, then I deprive others who are in desperate need of what I have to offer. And I also hurt myself, because although I may not know it, I’m in desperate need of what they have to offer too.

vision, purpose, destiny,



  1. Yes, but He also said ‘some make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven,’ meaning they give up all sexual relations and material possessions, go, ‘and sell everything,’ that they have. This is what many holy monks did, especially Saint Anthony of Egypt, the Father of Monasticism. Having a wife can make someone forget their duties to God. Both are good, and not sinful, but staying unmarried is better if you are capable of it without lusting too much, as Saint Paul once said. I cannot think of anything more selfless than giving up all for God. That is why monks became known as white martyrs as opposed to red martyrs, since they did not die per se, but died daily for Christ in their sufferings and asceticism. It is a very hard way of life, but can produce great holiness, sometimes even in a day! Like Saints Symeon the Elder and the Younger, who stood on top of stylites or columns, and stayed in the hot Syrian sun in the desert, the Younger staying on to for 40 years, without eating any food! He imitated his namesake, the Elder, who lived in the 5th century, where as he lived in the 6th.

    But marriage is indeed important, too, and one must be chaste in a marriage. It is something to be worked on too, marriage, and is not always easy. That is why it is better if some do not marry, since God does not want any uncalled for problems in our life, or to be tempted to sin. You have to give up a lot for your wife, and she must, too. You can pray to Christ together, too! Both Marriage and asceticism mirror our relationship with Christ if done properly. He is, after all, our Bridegroom, and the Church is His Bride. Nuns and monks in a way become married to God, dedicating their whole lives to Him. I love their communal way of life, too! Everything must be a sacrifice for Christ.

    We need His love, and His support and guidance. The monastics have plenty of all these things. I hope to be as holy as them.

    Let us pray for their patience and simplicity.


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