“Sexual Intimacy in Marriage: Something the church is afraid to talk about but everyone is doing.
Although effective resource management may be the most practical challenge that the majority of married couples face, achieving fully satisfying sexual intimacy is probably the most personal. Many couples are confused about their sexuality, not so much with regard to their sexual identities as with understanding how to properly relate to each other sexually. Sexual dysfunction is a significant source of frustration, conflict, and unhappiness in many marriages. Often dissatisfaction with sex is one of the root causes of spouses entering into extramarital affairs. What they are not getting at home they look for elsewhere. Quite often, this sexual confusion stems “from a basic lack of understanding of both the true nature and purpose of sex as well as the proper conditions for fulfilling sexual expression. “Unfortunately, conscientious couples looking for solid answers oftentimes have trouble finding them. Our modern sex-saturated society is certainly not much help. Although we live in a time when sexuality issues are discussed more openly and frankly than ever before, much of the popular discussion of sex is based on dreams, fantasy, and human ideas rather than on truth, reality, and the wisdom of the ages. “Everywhere we turn we are bombarded by sexual images and messages. Sex drives both the entertainment and the advertising industries. It fills the airwaves and the movie theaters. It is used to sell everything from shaving cream to automobiles. Even our everyday speech is peppered with sex talk. Some people seemingly cannot hold a conversation unless it is laced with sexual references. Yet, for all of our talking and “thinking about sex, much of society remains largely ignorant of the subject because so much of our dialogue is based on error and misconceptions.
Another sad truth is that the modern Church typically has little to add to the discussion. This is especially tragic because believers, who know and follow the God who created sex and established its proper parameters, should be able to speak more intelligently and confidently about it than anyone else. Yet the community of believers is often silent in the public forum regarding sex, whether because of embarrassment, confusion, timidity, or a sense that the subject of sex is either too personal or not sufficiently “spiritual” for the Church to weigh in on publicly. “Sex is not a side issue with God. The Bible has much more to say on the subject of sex and sexual relations than most people are aware of. Sexuality is fundamental to God’s design and plan for humanity. “So God created man in His own image, in the “image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (Gen. 1:27 emphasis added). “Male and female” are gender distinctions that imply sexuality. Sex also lies at the very core of God’s initial instructions to the first human couple to “be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it” (Gen. 1:28b). “this command deals essentially with dominion and the stewardship of resources, it certainly also includes sexual activity as a fundamental principle. “Because of its importance to human experience and because of the widespread confusion that exists on the subject today, it is crucial that we come to a biblical understanding of sexuality in order to counter the errors and misinformation that are so prevalent in our society. We need to understand what sex is not, “what it is, and what its purpose is, as well as establish guidelines for acceptable sexual activity within the context of a biblical marriage.
vision, purpose, destiny,