Most husbands not all don’t deserve submission. When it comes to loving their wives”


Unfortunately, the sad truth is that, measured against the standard set by Jesus, “most husbands don’t deserve submission. When it comes to loving their wives the way Christ loved the Church, most husbands have dropped the ball. This does not mean that the majority of husbands do not sincerely love their wives and want to do their best by them. The failure of husbands to measure up to Christ’s standard reveals a fundamental flaw that lies at the heart of every man, a flaw shared also by every woman. The Bible calls this flaw “sin,” and it has been a part of human nature ever since the first human couple defied God in the Garden of Eden and went their own way. Sin is the flaw that prevents husbands from measuring up to Jesus’ example.” “Although Adam and Eve enjoyed equal partnership and authority in the Garden of Eden, God had appointed Adam as the “head” of the family with the overall responsibility “responsibility of teaching and guiding his wife in the ways of God. After Adam and Eve disobeyed God, sin became part of their nature. It destroyed their fellowship with God and made them fearful of Him so that they hid themselves. When God came looking for them, He sought out Adam first. Even though Eve was the first to disobey and then drew her husband in, Adam was the “head,” and God held him primarily responsible. “As soon as he was confronted with his “failure, Adam tried to shift the blame to his wife. Refusing to acknowledge his guilt, Adam tried to transfer responsibility to someone else—and men have been transferring responsibility for their failures ever since.
When Adam disobeyed God and sin entered his nature, four things happened immediately in his life. First, he knew he was guilty. He refused to acknowledge it, but he knew it. Second, he became afraid. Sin caused separation between man and God and that separation created fear. Third, he hid himself, and, fourth, he felt shame. “All of these are the common experience of all men. Even today men know when they are wrong even if they never admit it. The thought of being exposed as a failure “fills them with fear. Men still hide from their failures. Many hide behind their ego, their physical strength, or their position or status in the community. Others hide behind money, influence, political power, their jobs, sports—anything that helps them avoid having to deal with their failures.
Although few would readily admit it, when a man messes up he feels ashamed, no matter how tough he might act. He may disguise his shame with bragging talk or “macho” behavior with the “boys.” He may try to drown it in liquor or act out his self-hatred by beating his wife and kids. The shame of a failed marriage may drive him into the arms of a mistress. He may seek to deflect his shame by blaming his wife for his failures.
Nothing destroys a man’s ego like failure. Men have a great fear of being “naked”—of having their failure exposed for all the world to see. That’s why so many men seek out false security in persons “or environments that will affirm their manhood without bringing up their shortcomings. They would rather bask in the warmth of a false self-image than face the truth about themselves.”

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4 comments on “Most husbands not all don’t deserve submission. When it comes to loving their wives”

  1. This makes me sad because it describes my estranged husband, a good man that I obviously loved because I married him, truly thought we’d grow old together, divorce not even in my vocabulary. I could forgive his mistakes, sins but he couldn’t forgive himself. It led to a cycle of destroying our marriage, amongst many other issues obviously, including my severe health challenges but I loved him, didn’t want to break up our family. He is holding much guilt, shame when all I pray is that he forgive himself as Jesus died for the forgiveness of all our sins. Thank you for this insight into the male mind & heart.

  2. Pastor, do you think Jesus is coming soon? Like really soon, our life time soon? The world seems hyped on the end-times premonition, Christians and non-christians likewise. This is the first time I am thinking of it seriously.

    • I think that Jesus will come back soon the Bible states that we do not know the day nor the hour when he will come but we know that he will come soon personally i do not listen to all the hype about that in times I believe people or scaring people or they are not secure in their faith in what they believe if we study the word of God it clearly states that no man knows the day nor the hour we need to have confidence in God’s Word we do not have to fear when it happens we know that we will be ready when ever he comes back so we do not have to fear the unknown but only have confidence in who we are in Christ

      • Right. Makes sense. Thank you, what you wrote is very comforting. And by the way, thank you for speaking reasonable criticism about men, because when women say something like this, they are called men haters. I also found that some men have very difficult time extending grace to themselves, and as a result, no grace is extended to everyone around them.

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