SEX IS NOT LOVE
“Because of its importance to human experience and because of the widespread confusion that exists on the subject today, it is crucial that we come to a biblical understanding of sexuality in order to counter the errors and misinformation that are so prevalent in our society. We need to understand what sex is not “what it is, and what its purpose is, as well as establish guidelines for acceptable sexual activity within the context of a biblical marriage. “In the eyes of the world, sex and love are synonymous. Even the most casual perusal of today’s newspapers, magazines, books, movies, and television programs will make this clear. Much of the material in these media treats sex and love as if they are inseparable, as if there is no difference between them. The logical outflow of this view is the philosophy that says, “If you love me, you’ll let me.” After all, if sex and love are the same, how can you claim to love someone and yet decline to have sex with him or her?
Closely related to this is the view that sex is proof of love. How often do we encounter this scenario in books or on film: A man meets a woman and they hit it off “well. The next thing we know, they are in bed together. This is our “tip off” that they are “in love.” They must be in love; they’re having sex, aren’t they? It may be an adulterous relationship with one or both of them married to someone else, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that they are in love. They go to bed, have their fling, get up the next morning, and everything is fine.
That’s the picture the world paints. What these books and films rarely if ever reveal is the negative side to these kinds of encounters. In real life, sexual liaisons of this type produce in most people feelings of guilt, shame, and a sense of being dirty, not to mention a deep absence of fulfillment. It may be “fun” for a moment, but it leaves them feeling empty, and often they don’t know why.
The idea of sex as love is one of the biggest lies with which the world has perverted God’s original design for sexual expression, enjoyment, and fulfillment. “Love—true love—is spiritual in nature. Sex is not. Sex is 100 percent physical and chemical. That is why we run into problems whenever we try to equate love with sex. Love is a spiritual union between two people—a joining of spirit to spirit. Sex is a physical coupling of two people—a joining of flesh to flesh. In its proper use, sex is a beautiful and fulfilling physical expression of the spiritual joining that is true love. “Understanding this distinction will help us guard against falling prey to a lot of the weird ideas floating around out there that try to convince us that sex is (or can be) some fantastic kind of “spiritual bonding” or getting in touch with the spiritual realities of life. It is nothing of the sort. Sex is an exhilarating physical experience, but in and of itself there is nothing spiritual about it. Sexual activity never bonds us spirit to spirit with another person. Nowhere does the Bible teach that a sexual experience will cause us to see God or be brought close to Him. Sex is a product of the human part of our makeup and has nothing to do with our spirit. Rather, our God-given sexual drive is an appetite that must be brought into subjection to and controlled by our spirit. Our spirit is to rule over our flesh.
vision, purpose, destiny,